Where Dwell the Brave at Heart
by Amanda N. Lupin
Summary: What can I do to prove it to you?” “You can’t. If you had loved me at all, you could never have married her. I have to go. Help save the world, and all that...”
1. Help Save the World and All That

"Please don't go." he begged, blue eyes shinning bright, near tears. Stop it you stupid wolf, she thought angrily, stop it or you'll break me, "Please don't leave me again." he pleaded desperately, clutching her hand tight in his.

"I'll be the ruin and damnation of the wizard and muggle world alike if I don't. Harry needs me Remus, you know that."

"Harry would understand. You could help in some other way..."

"What about Tonks, Remus, would your wife, the mother of your unborn child, understand?" he flinched involuntarily. "This should never have... I should never..."

"No! Don't say that. Anything, but that it was a mistake."

"Wasn't it?" she asked tearfully. "A beautiful, fleeting, colossal mistake. You tried to tell me third year when I went to say goodbye... that I was a girl and it could never work, never be right for us to be together.."

"I was a git! A stubborn, stupid, prat, Hermione. I love you, I loved you even then when I was trying so hard to push you away. I just couldn't bear the thought of ruining your future, dragging you down with me, holding you back... I love you, that's not a mistake, being with you, was never a mistake. My mistake was not waiting long enough for you, for settling for marrying a woman who I only cared about, instead of the one I was in love with."

"Why?" In that single broken, whispered word, Remus felt his heart break.

"Because I was a fool. I was certain you couldn't possibly love me."

"But you thought she could!" Heartbroken, she furiously tore her hand away from his.

"I could never hope to provide a good reason for what I've done, there isn't one. It should have been you. I don't know why or how we got here..."

"That's supposed to be of some comfort to me, that you don't know how we got to this point, that this wasn't what you planned? I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?"

"No. Merlin, Hermione, I... I..."

"You don't love me."

"I do! More than anything in the world, Hermione. I never should have pretended otherwise. What can I do to prove it to you?"

"You can't." she whispered softly.

"Please." he whispered, desperate but past caring he dropped to his knees on the ground in front of her. The gesture only seemed to upset her more, tears that she had been holding back fell freely now.

"You can't." she repeated. "If you had loved me at all, you could never have married her. I have to go. Help save the world, and all that..."

"Her..." he began, she shook her head and bent down softly, kissing him on the forehead and smoothing out his graying tawny hair, before disapparating with a small pop. "..mione." he finished brokenly, staring unseeing at empty space where moments ago she had stood.


	2. Putting the Blame Where it Belongs

They stood there. Where, neither knew. How they had got there was equally unimportant. That they were together, was all that mattered. She knew it wasn't real. It couldn't be, it was a dream, and somehow, by some miracle, they seemed to be having the same one. But for once in her life Hermione Granger couldn't have cared less to comprehend the logistics of the situation. She ran, ran as fast as she could. Faster than she could ever remember doing, into his arms, crushing him in one of her fierce hugs. He brushed the tears from her cheeks, smiling softly down at her. She smiled softly even as they continued to fall. Pulling him in closer to her, nuzzling her nose against his. She could feel his breath hot on her face, feel where every inch of his body melded perfectly into hers, making it difficult to determine where one stopped and the other began. She stood on her tip-toes to kiss him, in an instant he had swept her up effortlessly into his arms, her legs wrapped about his waist as the gentle contact deepened into a passionate, all consuming kiss.

"I love you," he whispered, voice soft as the indian summer breeze. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes, as she delivered a slap across the face. Stunned he allowed her to slide back down his body to stand on her own two feet, a silent question on his face. Hermione could only shake her head, fighting valiantly to hold back more tears.

"Don't. Don't make me chose, Remus, please. Please don't make me chose." she begged, hugging him again fiercely. He shook his head, a gentle finger under her chin, drawing her gaze up to meet his.

"You already have," he whispered softly, blue eyes shinning. She let out a hearty sob, and tried to look away, but he wouldn't allow it. "and I am prouder than I could ever hope to say of you for it."

"But I didn't chose you." she whispered, heartbroken. A soft whimper escaping her as he retreated out of her arms to stand in front of her.

"But it was the right choice." She shook her head.

"How can it be right, when I feel so miserable because of it? How can you not? How are you so calm about it, so accepting of it? Why aren't you fighting for me?"

"I don't deserve you. I don't know that I ever did, but I certainly don't now." Her wild unruly curls tossed about as she shook her head violently.

"Don't say that," she whispered softly, but her entreaties fell upon closed ears as Remus shook his head again softly, refusing to meet her tearful amber pools.

"I waited. I just didn't wait long enough." He hung his head, fingers playing with the lint that lined the pockets of his shabby robes. "When did you come back?" He didn't know why he asked, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

"Bill and Fleur's wedding." She choked. "You'd already been married a month." she supplied unnecessarily, he grimaced as she let out another loud sob and returned to hugging him. Her embrace was such that he was beginning to have difficulty getting full breaths of air, not that he very much wanted to. He didn't want to breathe. Didn't want to think, didn't want to feel... There was nothing the beautiful witch currently crushing him could say that might console him, because in the end, whatever she might say to the contrary, he didn't deserve her. In the end, there was no one else to blame for it. All this heartache, was entirely his fault.


End file.
